I have a lovely job. I get to wear plakkies to work, rocking my shorts and sometimes even a button up shirt with only a couple buttons done up. I call it the “Tropical Heat look”. To be honest, I think it works for me. I am an easy going person, chilled in fact. Like a holiday. I will say however, there are people that disagree.
In my humble office there is a voice. Some would say the voice of reason. Others would say a voice to inspire work ethic. I say a voice that keeps my ego in check. I have mentioned before that I think highly of myself. I don’t think this is a bad thing; it inspires me to be better, do better and gives me the confidence to move forward on anything without letting fear stifle me. But I also think that it can be dangerous. This is where ‘the voice’ comes in. A voice that keeps my ego from over inflation. Keeps my confidence in check. This voice belongs to Candace.
Candace, a lovely young lady from the Western Cape of South Africa, loves long walks to Spar and Vida coffees. An all-round fantastic human being with a wit that is sharper than, well (at times), mine. Always ready to smile, especially if it’s after pulling my leg. She really does say the most interesting things. Most of which is the word “no” sometimes replaced with “stop” or a look that says all of the above…just after I have thrown my head back and begun to sing. I don’t blame her to be brutally honest, destroying my singing confidence is a little better than dealing with colleagues with burst ear drums and bleeding eyes.
This post would be a gazillion pages long if I wrote down half of the shit she says. So I’ll touch on some examples. Both examples have a strange moral to them and are ironically filled with wisdom. I will paraphrase.
“I’m not sure why people worry so much about health and stuff. Sure it’s good to keep in shape, but at the end of the day everyone is going to die and turn to sawdust. I don’t want to wake up tomorrow, dead, and not have enjoyed today (yesterday).”
“What is up with the shit people wear. Does that chick know she looks like a “bergie”? Wait, where does the boot end and her skin start? Bergie.”
“People take life waaaay too seriously. Seriously, chill the f*** out bro. Have a drink”
“Kyle those plakkies make you look like a ‘bergie’, a ‘bergie’ from boksburg. Make a plan.” – there was an open letter about this even.
“Kyle, you thinking with your blueballs. Seriously bro. Blue bally. Get laid or something.”
“I am going on diet, a detox. Starts NOW. Want to walk with me to KFC?” – Admittedly, she must gym like a beast because she is still always in shape??
“What would Liz Lemon do?”
“Your mama…” followed by anything from “does the laundry” to “walks to SPAR.”
“Come on Jason, the chewed bits are healthy!”
She is a riot as well as a good friend. Sometimes you just need a voice that will be brutally honest and still keep it relatively friendly.